Saturday, February 21, 2009

Black Swan和愛情

有人用Black Swan解釋金融海嘯,我認為Black Swan可以解釋愛情。
解釋一段不可能發生的愛情、或一個不可能遇上的情人。

即使用最精密的電腦演算,你和他相遇的可能性都不會大於0.000001。
把你從小到大的所有生命軌跡列出:你上過的學校、住過的地方、參加過的比賽、加入過的團體、幹過的工作、到訪過的城市…無一與他的有丁點重疊。
點算你所有認識的朋友,然後把他們任意組合──如果人與人之間平均相差六度,你和他的距離,至少有十二度(套用facebook的標準,你們之間,並無mutual friends)。
剖析你的性格,把它們細分得要多小就多小,但即使如此,你和他之間,也很難找到共通點。
他不是你白日夢的對像;你沒有一個舊情人和他相似。
就算你們住在同一個城市,也不曾相遇;就算你們年齡相仿,也不曾碰上。
也許你們看過同一本書、擁有過同一張唱片、到過同一家餐廳…但不足以令你們認識對方。
你們來自不同的背景、階層、國家,甚至種族;你們有著截然不同的生活、喜好、習慣、夢想。
無論如何,憑一切曾經發生在你們身上的事、憑一切可以界定你們的特質,都不能推算出你們竟會相愛。
而這0.000001的機會,居然發生了。
(而不能否認,互聯網與平坦的世界,是使這機會率加倍的一大因素。)

這愛情註定天翻地覆。
你和他幹了從未幹過的瘋狂的事。
你和他去從未去過的地方。
你在從未睡過的時分入夢、在從未清醒過的時刻興奮、在從未想像過的情況下,感受狂喜與激情。
他改變了你的常規,扭轉了你的生活,打開了你生命中的另一扇窗,甚至改寫了你的下半生。
和他在一起的時間,你好像成了另一個人,這雖然使你驚訝,但更教你歡喜莫名。
脫離固定軌道多麼令人著迷。

Black Swan的愛情來得不能預測,它離開的時候,卻非常地明顯。
因為你已徹底不一樣。
如果你的過去可以用一條公式計算,那麼,他的出現已改變了這道公式。
即使有天你回到屬於你的天地裏,你再也不是以前的自己。
你會懷疑:我怎麼會愛上他?我真的和他一起過嗎?這是不可能的!
但他的吻如此實在,那道劃在心上的傷,隱隱作痛。
這樣的愛情有時圓滿,但多數不能開花結果。
它是最刻骨銘心的愛情。要多久才能克服失去它帶來的傷?有些人要用上一輩子。
這是無法用常理解釋的愛情;這是Black Swan的愛情。

Black Swan的愛情充滿戲劇效果與張力,所以古今中外許多蕩氣迴腸的愛情故事,都有著Black Swan的元素:
張翠山與殷素素(正/邪)、白素貞與許仙(她是修練了千年的妖,他是百無一用的書生──套現在的用語,她是女神,他是宅男);千金小姐喜歡古惑仔(《天若有情》)、鉅富戀上風塵女(Pretty Woman)。
在現實裏,也有許多Black Swan的故事。你的外婆遇過、你的朋友遇過、你也可能遇過。
只是你們很少提起。因為一切太難以置信,而每次想起,總帶來嘆息。
(不想美化他們,但在現實裏,小小超和伊莎貝拉之間的愛情,大概也只能用Black Swan解釋)

也許Black Swan的愛情伴隨遺憾,但我認為,沒有經歷過Black Swan愛情,更是一大遺憾。
因為它使你知道,原來你竟可這樣深愛。

12 comments:

黃世澤 Martin Oei said...

估不到妳用Black Swan來解釋愛情,不過Black Swan愛情多數要面對的壓力,要克服的問題,都是多得很可怕,所以遇過的人,都選擇沉默不向人說,因不知從何說起,講都無人信。

狗 said...

嗯... 係好浪漫...

但本質上, 其實只係兩個唔同嘅人一齊生活, 然後互相適應影響咗對方咋咩 :P (如是者我5年之內經歷咗8次啦...)

加燦 said...

Hello Leona,

Did you write this post just so you can use a lot of Black Swan? he he. Reminded me of Toastmaster meetings getting us to try to use the word (or words) of the day. :)

I wander if anything can 解釋愛情. :) Imagine a world where we never meet our better half for the first time (by not go to that party, take that job, take that class, etc) our life would have been changed totally.

So Black Swan or not, we are all lucky to have met our better halves as our lives will be totally different without them.

hevangel said...

我倒認為愛情不是blackswam﹐而是anthropic principle。若果不是這個愛人﹐你也會找到另外一個愛人﹐也會有同樣看起來很blackswam的經歷。

Leona said...

而想多一層,這類經歷也許有其普遍性,或許引起其他人共嗚
所以就寫了

VC said...

求仁得仁。

加燦 said...

I see Leona,

Nice to see you saying, "想來如今終於可以向他說: I'm over you."

You are too humble in saying "這篇文實在寫得非常爛". If by writing this blog entry helped you, then it has done its duty and its a good entry. There is nothing as "十分不智".

In contrast, if you write something specifically engineered and crafted to fit your readership and market demand, while the essay/blog entry means absolutely nothing to you, then I would take the contrary view of calling it "十分不智".

What you did is good for you and I am happy for you. The operative word is "you".

"... 在從未想像過的情況下,感受狂喜與激情。他改變了你的常規,扭轉了你的生活,打開了你生命中的另一扇窗," These are all good. And I hope this is for the better, "甚至改寫了你的下半生。"

You used Black Swan, let me use my version of Snowball. Imagine yourself as a snowball on the top of the hill, rolling down the hill, growing & getting bigger. For the snowball to get bigger, it need to find a nice tall hill with lots of nice wet snow to grow. The wet snow a snowball picked up on the hill are the friends and girl/boy friends a person meet over his/her life time. While these friends help define and make us, our friends and previous/current girl/boy friends are not us. They will be part of us but not us. The fun and unchangeable fact is we only get one chance in rolling down the hill, we may as well find a nice hill to pick up some good wet snow.

And on this note, Leona, I view you as a blog friend, as one of those chunks of wet snow I picked up in my path down this hill. We may never meet but I do try to read and learn from you.

I think this quote is fitting so allow me end with something by Bruce Mau,

Allow events to change you.
You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

Your blog friend,
Kempton

Silver said...

我的想法倒沒有那麼「科學」,有綠便是有緣,無緣就是無緣,哪怕機率是否0.000001。最重要的是,It did or did not happen. :)

想起《生命中不能承受的輕》以下幾段,深有同感:

  Was it better to be with Teresa or to remain alone?
  There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself? That is why life is always like a sketch. No, "sketch" is not quite the word, because a sketch is an outline of something, the groundwork for a picture, whereas the sketch that is our life is a sketch for nothing, an outline with no picture.
  Einmal ist keinmal, says Tomas to himself. What happen but once, says the German adage.

Karen said...

I really like this blog, can i refer it to my blog too. I will put reference there. Many thanks

Karen

Leona said...

Karen,

Sure, please go ahead. It's my honour. Thank you.
:)

frankie said...

black swan愛情我也有一段, 富富富家女跟我這個屋村仔 (雖然認識她時,我已買了層六百呎樓,只是後來才知,客廳細個她睡房), 感覺絕對疑幻疑真, 很不真實似,或者, 我應該說,當日我根本沒做好心理準備,一個勇字...最後, 我自己說分手...black swan 的令人遺憾,也許就在於總是殺個惜手不及....

Leona said...

Frankie,明白你的遭遇
Black Swan的愛情,擁有過已很難得--起碼你知道你曾這樣愛過